Sunday, July 06, 2008

I don't very often talk about things "personal" especially those that are to do with grief. True to my Irish roots, I suppose. Grief to me is personal, and while some may prefer to blog about them, to "spill their guts" and get it out, I reserve that for a few trusted friends.

But this weekend, I am feeling a bit melancholy. Last year at this time, we had purchased this house. Oh I was so happy. We were so happy, for Mark loved the house just as much as I did. The house was perfect and it was like Mark and I were starting a "new chapter" of our lives. I find this quite ironic, no? Away from the horrible neighbors, and the house that never really suited us, oh I had plans, BIG plans! We happened to visit the house on this holiday weekend, going over the furniture that the previous homeowner was going to sell us, and going over some of the more mechanical things with her. This was perfect and I could not have asked for a better seller. Also ironic, she was a widow herself.

I can't help but think of how much things have changed in the past year, how much I have grown and learned about myself as a person. I learned I am strong as steel in times of true crisis. I have learned who my true friends were, and are. I learned that a broken heart hurts more than I could ever have imagined. And most importantly, I learned life does go on and time does make things better. You don't forget and you may ride the waves of grief at times, clinging tightly to your surf board, but time does heal all.

So this weekend, while I am grateful for being able to celebrate our nation, I am also grateful for my new neighbors, who welcomed me into the neighborhood and have given me so much support. I am grateful for my friends, both old and new, who have carried me through this time. And I am grateful for my house, for it has been my solace and place of calm in the storm.

1 comment:

Bertha said...

I'm sorry Kate. I often read your blog posts with wonder since it seems like you're dealing with everything so well, even though I know your blog doesn't represent everything you feel in your personal life. I guess I just think that if it were me, I feel like I'd never be able to carry on with regular things in life like reading and knitting and making jewelry. I am sure I would in reality, but it seems like it would be impossible. You are such a strong woman and I hope you find peace.